Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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