The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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