jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
