I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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