In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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