His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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