try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
