Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
