But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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