i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
