What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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