You really coming over, don't trick.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
