You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize