yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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