No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
