You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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