This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
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Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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