he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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