u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
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Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.