Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!

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(213): View more from California

i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.

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(425): View more from Washington

I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.

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(623): View more from Arizona

I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.

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