I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder