I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just blew my weed a kiss
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.