No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
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My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.