I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
