i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
