The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your tits are I can't wait for
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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