What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
