It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
