Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
