careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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