I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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