honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have demons in me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
