Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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