Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize