Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize