if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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