is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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