I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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