Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
do nipples grow back?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
