Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
