Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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