I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
