i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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