Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
