best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
