At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize