I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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