No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
