you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
