there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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