she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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