I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
