I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
