is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Found the puke drawer
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
