Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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