This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
True college students do jello shots in the library
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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