he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
