you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
