As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
