I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
