dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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