hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
