you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The Olympian is in my bed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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