I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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