It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
