Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum

  (212): View more from New York

  i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls

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  (212): her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum (212): i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls http://tfl.nu/3qj9
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

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  (203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz
  Replies (20) Good night (3838) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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  (949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu
  Replies (4) Good night (3180) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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  (240): He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half? http://tfl.nu/4690
  Replies (48) Good night (4168) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
  Replies (13) Good night (4493) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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  (905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c
  Replies (6) Good night (1986) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.

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  (412): i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once. http://tfl.nu/brbs
  Replies (21) Good night (3168) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.

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  (+44): ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret. http://tfl.nu/fyhz
  Replies (13) Good night (2022) Bad night (1817)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?

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  (212): Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help? http://tfl.nu/19hc
  Replies (7) Good night (1747) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (566) Bad night (1722)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.

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  (850): I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night. http://tfl.nu/511n
  Replies (4) Good night (1066) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.

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  (219): I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night. http://tfl.nu/4hgv
  Replies (7) Good night (436) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?

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  (513): I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night? http://tfl.nu/pm3j
  Replies (14) Good night (996) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...

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  (425): My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way... http://tfl.nu/ehz3
  Replies (11) Good night (766) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Are you okay?

  (1-661): View more from California

  I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!

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  (661): Are you okay? (1-661): I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay! http://tfl.nu/70id
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (381)

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