i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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