Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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